Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Middle District news

Judge Gregory Presnell from the Middle District of Florida is a favorite of the federal court junkie... This latest order shows why:

Case No. 6:05-cv-1430-Orl-31JGG

d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,





This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff’s Motion to designate location of a Rule
30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of
Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.
United States District Judge

LOVE IT! Okay, so there's going to be a high stakes games of rock-paper-scissors... What is your strategy? Do you start with the safe play of rock or do you get coy and go paper? But then again, maybe you should start with scissors... Ah, the complexity and strategy of a good r-p-s game! It really should have been best of 5 or at least 3 so that the lawyers could get a feel for each other, don't you think?


Anonymous said...

Wanna bet that one of the two lawyers broke out the old reliable, but often forgotten..."Dynamite!" (For those of you out of the know, dynamite is represented by one finger).

Anonymous said...

In related news, Judge Cooke has decided that the guilt or innocence of Jose Padilla will be determined by one game of "Candyland." The government had sought to have the matter determined by one match of thumbwrestling, but Judge Cooke remained firm: "No. Candyland."

zzyz said...

Best thing about the story: the two firms' offices are in the same building, four floors apart.

Anonymous said...

I always thought the thumb was a bomb. Never heard of dynamite.

Anonymous said...

The judge's order might be some due process issues. It could prejudice a party based on where the attorney or client grew up.

For example, on Long Island, in North Massapequa, we never did rock, paper, scissors. We were, however, familiar and skilled at "one potato, two potato," "eeny meenie," and choosing by "shooting" fingers in odds, evens.

Thus, I would raise a constitutional challenge if forced to use the alien dispute resolution form of rock, paper, scissors.

A way to resolve this might be for it to be incorporated into each court's local rules. Then, of course, bar associations can offer Rock, Paper, Scissors CLE courses to ensure a level playing field.

Anonymous said...

The St. Petersburg Times reported this story yesterday. http://www.sptimes.com/2006/06/07/Tampabay/Rock__paper__scissors.shtml

JBG said...

It's a sad day when the parties have probably forgotten what hte controversy is about, and it's all become about the lawyers.

Anonymous said...

I think this order is just rife with even more potential complications. Is it "One Two Three!" or "One Two Three SHOOT" as it in some circles? Is it sudden death or best 2 out of 3? What happens in case of a tie?

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to read about the associate assigned to write the 30 page memo on Rock, Paper, Scissors ("RPS") strategy.

Anonymous said...

Here is a website where you can actually practice: http://www.playrps.com/

If you need a strategy guide - look here - www.worldrps.com

Anonymous said...

SO WHCH LAWYER WON?? The order says it was supposed to take place 6/30...dying to know!

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