There is only one good thing about the summer:

The traffic.

Okay, maybe it's not that good.

Just saying.

A federal judge's limerick in response to a 465 page complaint

"Plaintiff has a great deal to say,
But it seems he skipped Rule 8(a).
His Complaint is too long,
Which renders it wrong,
Please re-write and re-file today."

via ABA Journal (and Seattle Times)

Should a federal judge....

...post porn pictures on his personal website (when he is about to start an obscenity trial)? That's the debate after Judge Alex Kozinski did so in United States v. Ira Isaacs, a trial starting this morning. According to the LA Times:

One of the highest-ranking federal judges in the United States, who is currently presiding over an obscenity trial in Los Angeles, has maintained a publicly accessible website featuring sexually explicit photos and videos.Alex Kozinski, chief judge of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, acknowledged in an interview with The Times that he had posted the materials, which included a photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows and a video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal. Some of the material was inappropriate, he conceded, although he defended other sexually explicit content as "funny."

Other stuff found on the site:

The sexually explicit material on Kozinski's site earlier this week was extensive, including images of masturbation, public sex and contortionist sex. There was a slide show striptease featuring a transsexual, and a folder that contained a series of photos of women's crotches as seen through snug fitting clothing or underwear. There were also themes of defecation and urination, though they are not presented in a sexual context.

How did Kozinski end up doing a trial (he's the Chief Judge on the 9th Circuit):

The judge said it was strictly by chance that he wound up presiding over the Issacs trial in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles. Appeals court judges occasionally hear criminal cases when they have free time on their calendars and the Isaacs case was one of two he was given, the judge said.

The money quotes:

Kozinski said he didn't think any of the material he posted on his website would qualify as obscene."Is it prurient? I don't know what to tell you," he said. "I think it's odd and interesting. It's part of life."Before the site was taken down, visitors to http://alex.kozinski.com were greeted with the message: "Ain't nothin' here. Y'all best be movin' on, compadre."Only those who knew to type in the name of a subdirectory could see the content on the site, which also included some of Kozinski's essays and legal writings as well as music files and personal photos.The judge said he began saving the sexually explicit materials and other items of interest years ago."People send me stuff like this all the time," he said.He keeps the things he finds interesting or funny with the thought that he might later pass them on to friends, he said.

You go Judge Milian

Okay, so this isn't federal court, but it's a fun clip, isn't it?

Friday afternoon fun

Some funny stories reported around the blogosphere today:

1. James Muirhead, a federal magistrate in New Hampshire, wrote a very funny order today based on Green Eggs and Ham after an inmate filed a lawsuit based on the food he was being served and attached an actual egg to the pleading. Here's part:

“I do not like eggs in the file. I do not like them in any style. I will not take them fried or boiled. I will not take them poached or broiled. I will not take them soft or scrambled Despite an argument well-rambled.” Thre rest of the order here.

2. Judge Posner, from the 7th Circuit, wrote an order about horse meat in which the court upheld an Illinois law making it unlawful to “slaughter a horse if that person knows or should know that any of the horse meat will be used for human consumption.” Here's the initial paragraph:

Horse meat was until recently an accepted part of the American diet—the Harvard Faculty Club served horse-meat steaks until the 1970s. No longer is horse meat eaten by Americans . . . though it is eaten by people in a number of other countries, including countries in Europe; in some countries it is a delicacy. Meat from American horses is especially prized because our ample grazing land enables them to eat natural grasses, which enhances the flavor of their meat.

Here's the opinion.

Check out page 11 -- which includes a picture of a lion eating a horse meat cake. No kidding. Here it is:

hat tips -- Wall Street Journal Blog and Above the Law.

Another fashionable lawyer

We highlighted the Herald's coverage about fashionable Carolyn Kellman a while back.

Another lawyer is now profiled for his fashion, Brian James (pictured left from the Herald article). From the article:

Residence: Belle Meade in Miami's Upper East Side

Haunts: I usually shop at traditional places like Macy's simply because it's easy when everything is under one roof.

Passion du jour: I am passionate about traveling. I like going all over the world and I always seem to take notice of the cultural differences with regards to fashion.

His look: A little preppy but definitely still unique.

What influences his choices: I've come to realize that my wife was a big influence in my fashion. When I met her I only wore black, and over time she's really turned me into this man that you see, full of color, eclectic, mix-matched and funky. Even when I'm working and have to wear my suits I make sure that my choices of shirt and tie show my individuality.

From his firm site:

Brian T. James concentrates his practice on representing individuals and corporations in controversies with federal, state and local regulatory and law enforcement agencies. As a former judicial intern with the Honorable Judge Donald L. Graham, Southern District of Florida, and a former certified legal intern with the Dade County Public Defender’s Office, Mr. James has experience with both Federal and State courts. Mr. James also served as an Internal Compliance Auditor for a Florida state bank where he advised on the areas of mandatory and voluntary compliance regulations within the banking industry.

While at the University of Miami School of Law, Mr. James served on the managing board of the Business Law Review, as vice-president of the Moot Court Board and as Chief Justice of the Student Bar Association's Supreme Court. He also was awarded "Best Appellate Brief" and "Most Rounded Competitor" in the 1999/2000 Oral Argument Competition.

Mr. James is a member of The Florida Bar, the Dade and Broward County Bar Associations, the Black Lawyers Association, and the Caribbean Bar Association. His community and civic activities include serving as vice president to the board of trustees for the Playground Theatre for Young Audiences, Inc., board member of the Arts and Business Council of Miami, as well as a volunteer in many organizations including the United Way, the Community Partnership for the Homeless and Habitat for Humanity.

Broward Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin resigns

The DBR has the scoop here. First Judge Korda, and now Seidlin...

You remember Judge Seidlin -- the one who cried during the Anna Nicole litigation. State court, especially in Broward, seems so much more exciting than the Southern District, no?

I'm sure lots of commentary to follow from the Broward Blog.

I have no idea what to title this post...

This week's Neighbors section in the Miami Herald profiled a local lawyer, Carolyn Kellman, AKA CK (pictured at left, from the Herald article). She works at Adorno & Yoss. From the article:

Passions du jour: I love accessories because they make an outfit. They don't have to be expensive but it should be coup de coeur (love at first sight). Fabulous stiletto shoes and soft, smooshy, large leather bags. I love black clothes, which I think has to do with being a New Yorker. You can take the girl out of New York but you can't take New York out of the girl.

Look: I like to mix high and low with new and old. Sophisticated, yet fun. I want to stand out for my unique fashion flare.

Here's her bio on A&Y. Her experience: Collections, Landlord/Tenant disputes, and workouts.

More: "Carolyn Kellman is a Partner in the Firm's Miami office and member of the Collections Department. Ms. Kellman focuses her practice in large-scale commercial collections with an emphasis on stipulated settlement workouts and landlord tenant workout and lease issues. She represents numerous national collection agencies, assisting them with resolutions with South Florida debtors. She also acts as a "lawyer-liaison" for clients who want their countrywide collections administered by a sole source."

Rumpole has been saying that I'm stealing his stuff, so I've moved away from his state court coverage to this piece, which is more like, say, AboveTheLaw..... I guess I'll go back to Padilla tomorrow. Hope everyone had a nice Father's Day weekend.

Maybe I'm a sucker, but...

... I feel bad for Paris Hilton.

If she wasn't a celebrity, she wouldn't be treated this way. She'd be on house arrest right now and that would be it. She probably wouldn't have even gotten the 45 day sentence in the first place (for driving with a suspended license).

I actually think the fight between the judge and the jail as to who controls release dates and other prison decisions is very interesting. Most would think that of course the judge trumps the jail, but criminal practitioners know that judges oftentimes defer to jailors and marshals even though I believe that judges would and should win if a true showdown occurred.

Here's a prior post about a judge not backing down to the jail in a case that I was involved with.