Tuesday, November 29, 2011

"They take off their tops and let the guys touch them."

That's Hugo Rodriguez quoted in this New Times article about the "paralegals" visiting FDC (the federal jail in downtown Miami). More:

But attorneys swear the scam is ongoing. One "discovery room" normally used to discuss trial strategy was recently closed, they say, after guards caught an inmate and a paralegal "discovering" more than legal documents.

Lawyers claim that lax rules have let phony paralegals pamper their narco clients
​"Everyone knows about it," says a private investigator who is familiar with the FDC and asked not to be named. "We call them the 'little hoochie mamas'... They are making a mockery out of the prison system here."

Among the offenses allegedly committed by so-called paralegals: smuggling in a Playboy, feeding alcohol to an inmate by slipping a straw through a grate, and sneaking in $3,000 inside a purse.

In a scene straight out of a porno, one woman was caught on video stripping for an inmate in the jail's Special Housing Unit, attorneys say. The stripper was banned from the FDC.

Money quote from the article:

"If you want some good people-watching, try the FDC," attorney Marc Seitles says. "It certainly beats paying a cover and waiting on lines to get into LIV."

We should treat inmates more humanely (especially first-time non-violent offenders) by letting them have limited internet access and occasional conjugal visits. We should also let them wear their own clothing and eat their own food, like they do in most other countries. There would be lots less violence and abuse. If an inmate messed up, these benefits would be taken away.


Anonymous said...

I'm quite sure that the inmates who are getting this special treatment are cooperators. Shouldn't we be getting this info as Giglio or Napue?

Anonymous said...

Can't get enough of Napue

Anonymous said...

Finally someone says something. It's a joke. These women wear the equivalent of what a porn star acting as a lawyer or paralegal would wear. It's actually fun to sit back and watch. Those re-made bodies do not come cheaply so I'm sure someone is paying good money to get them to visit.

Anonymous said...

Bunch of misogynist crybabies -

A good looking paralegal who does not work for you is a... stripper...and the only reason the other guy got the case is because he brought in some hot paralegal, not because he is better, or quoted a more reasonable fee.

I wonder how all these hater's female associates, partners, paralegals look? I am sure they are all dog ugly...right.

Anonymous said...

Such haters. These guys are job creators!

Rumpole said...

Geeeze I miss all the good stuff at the DCJ.

Anonymous said...

Haters?? Bullshit. Its sick and twisted. The defendants all are "cooperators" in a sense. Mostly Norte Valle or paramilitary guys from Colombia. Most also with blood on their hands and murders under their belts. All "represented" by the same old group of pseudo lawyers. How about naming names?? Some of these lawyers are on our CJA list.

Anonymous said...

@3:03-- speaks the truth. Without'em where would defense lawyers be?

Anonymous said...

H.Rodriguez is complaining? That is like the wolf at the chicken coop door about the new lock! Hilarious!