Trust us...

Magistrate Judge Barry Garber recommended that the motion to suppress the confession of the FIU Professor/Cuban agent be denied and that the motion to dismiss be denied (Jay Weaver, Herald). The defense contended that government agents had promised Carlos Alvarez that if he talked to them, they would not prosecute. That promise was not enough to suppress or dismiss according to the magistrate judge. Alvarez has ten days to appeal to the district court.

Trial time

Vanessa Blum has the story about a trial starting Monday morning involving the leaders of a Dania Beach-based union, American Maritime Officers. The two criminal defense lawyers, Neal Sonnett and Fred Haddad, represent the defendants. I think these are two of the best trial lawyers in Florida, and it will be fun to see them try a case together because their styles are so different... Anyone who catches some of the trial, please feel free to post a comment.

No joke...

via Abovethelaw.com:

Doe, A Deer, A Female Deer = Sexytime!

Bestiality-oriented necrophiliacs who live in Wisconsin, we bring you some potentially good news. In the next few weeks, a court could hold that you may have your way with whatever animals you please -- as long as they're dead.

From The Smoking Gun:

Meet Bryan James Hathaway, alleged venison lover. The Wisconsin man, 20, is facing charges that he had sex last month with a dead deer. Hathaway, who previously has served time for killing a horse he intended to sexually assault, allegedly found the deer in a ditch alongside a roadway.

Now Hathaway's lawyer has filed a court motion (a copy of which you'll find here) arguing that since the animal was already dead, Hathaway should not face a misdemeanor rap of sexual gratification with an animal. "The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass," lawyer Fredric Anderson wrote in the motion filed in Douglas County Circuit Court.

Anderson isn't trying to be a wise-ass; he has a plausible argument of statutory interpretation. Here's an account of the court hearing on the motion, from The Daily Telegram:

The Webster’s dictionary defines “animal” as “any of a kingdom of living beings,” Anderson said. If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, “you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.”

Anderson argued: When does a turkey cease to be an animal? When it is dead? When it is wrapped in plastic packaging in the freezer? When it is served, fully cooked?

Sounds persuasive to us. So how did the prosecution respond? Well, they got a little Platonic on defendant's ass:

“The common and ordinary meaning of a word can be found in how people actually use the word,” Boughner wrote in his response to the motion.
When a person’s pet dog dies, [Assistant District Attorney James Boughner argued], the person still refers to the dog as his or her dog, not a carcass.
“It stays a dog for some time,” Boughner said.... “It did not lose its essence as a deer, an animal, when it died,” he said.

We hope the defendant prevails. 'Cause we're really looking forward to Thanksgiving.

Can You Get Dear With A Dead Deer? [The Smoking Gun]
Case Presents Unprecedented Challenge [The Daily Telegram]

News and notes

1. Jack Abramoff is reporting to jail. (CNN)

2. Steve Chaykin and Dan Gelber are reporting to Akerman Senterfit. (Daily Business Review)

3. On Stearns Weaver's motion, Judge Gold is stopping claims services from the unlicensed practice of law in the Exxon case. (DBR)

4. Patagonian toothfish in federal court. (Miami Herald)

5. The 11th Circuit has fast tracked the Government's appeal in Padilla. (Miami Herald)

6. Santiago Alvarez was sentenced to nearly four years in prison and Osvaldo Mitat to 3 years. (Sun-Sentinel)

Copy of Padilla Torture response

Here is a copy of the government's response to Jose Padilla's claims of torture, and here is Professor Froomkin's analysis of same.