Friday, May 24, 2019

“Timing is everything.”

That’s Judge Rosenbaum in this case involving Club Madonna, a strip club on Miami Beach.  More:
People often say that timing is everything. Hitting a home run? Timing.1 Comedy? Timing.2 Winemaking? Timing.3 Relationships? Timing.4 Politics? Timing.5
And of course, timing is also important when it comes to Article III justiciability. File before the facts underpinning the claim have been sufficiently developed, and a court must dismiss the claim because it is not ripe for the court’s review. But wait until the claim has been resolved and the court can offer no further relief, and a court must dismiss the claim because it is moot. Yet if a well-pleaded claim falls in the sweet spot between ripeness and mootness and is otherwise justiciable, it states a “case or controversy” that the court must entertain.
Here, Appellant Club Madonna, Inc. (the “Club”), a fully-nude strip club in the City of Miami Beach (the “City”), filed several claims against the City, challenging administrative action it had taken against the Club, the laws authorizing that action, and ordinances the City later enacted that regulate the fully nude strip- club business. The district court dismissed all sixteen of the Club’s claims, six because they did not state a claim and ten because they were not yet ripe for the court’s review.
The Club appealed the district court’s dismissal as it pertains to all but Counts I, II, and part of Count VI. We agree that Counts III through VI failed to state claims. We also agree that one of the remaining claims was not ripe. And we affirm the district court’s dismissal of one more of those claims because the Club lacks standing to pursue it. But we conclude that the eight remaining appealed claims were ripe for the district court’s review and therefore reverse and remand to the district court for further proceedings.
All those footnotes at the beginning of the opinion make for fun reading:
1 Babe Ruth said that a great hitter didn’t “swing any harder” or “with any longer arc than the poorer hitters” but had “perfect timing sense.” George Herman Ruth, Babe Ruth’s Own Book of Baseball 178 (University of Nebraska Press, 1992) (1928); see also Nate Scott, “The 50 Greatest Yogi Berra Quotes,” USA Today Sept. 23, 2015, available at https://ftw.usatoday.com/2015/09/the-50-greatest-yogi-berra-quotes (last visited May 24, 2019).
2 According to Bob Hope, timing is “the essence of life and definitely of comedy.” William Robert Faith, Bob Hope: A Life in Comedy (Da Capo Press, Inc. 2009). Asked to comment further, he reportedly paused and said, “We don’t have time for that.” Dena Kleiman, “Bob Hope Gives a Lesson in Comedy,” New York Times, April 30, 1986, available at https://nyti.ms/2HLa4Mi.
3 Timing’s importance in winemaking was central to the Paul Masson advertising campaign from the late 1970s, which featured Orson Welles informing the viewer that the company would “sell no wine before its time.” See Orson Welles for Paul Masson Wine (April 2, 1979), YouTube (May 14, 2009), https://youtu.be/oSs6DcA6dFI, (last visited May 24, 2019).
4 Just ask Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher. They married in 2015, over a decade and a half after their first kiss—as actors in the pilot episode of That ‘70s Show. Stephanie Petit, “#TBT: Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher First Kissed on That 70’s Show,” People (July 21, 2016), https://people.com/tv/mila-kunis-and-ashton-kutcher-recall-first-kiss-on-that-70s-show/ (last visited May 24, 2019).
5 Pierre Trudeau is credited as saying that timing was the “essential ingredient” of politics. See The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations 439 (Connie Robertson, ed.,Wordsworth 1997).



2 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:04 AM

    This opinion shows almost everything that is wrong with modern judicial writings, especially south of Okeechobee Road. Metaphors and humorous asides in search of an opinion. It's as if she stays up every night and collects cute phrases on index cards and files them away in hopes that some fact situation will arise where she can impress her audience with her supposed wit and charm. These attempts at being the Jerry Seinfeld of the Circuit Courts lessen respect for them, not immediately but in the long term. I think it started many years ago when Scalia lobbed a rhetorical hand grenade at O'Connor in the Casey/Planned Parenthood case and continued his fuselage against Kennedy in the gay marriage case by claiming the if he authored the majority opinion in the same flavorful language, he would walk around with a bag over his head. It's funny coming from the supremes but comes across as contrived when penned by a circus court judge who spends too much time immersing herself in the pop culture of yesteryear.

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  2. Anonymous9:36 AM

    Wow! That is a lot of anger, hostility and misogyny for four in the morning. Very Trumpian.
    The reality is that J. Rosenbaum is one of the most respected CIRCUIT judges on the 11th Circuit not only for her creative writing but for her intellect.

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